Why I'm Choosing Empathy

For several months now there has been a certain issue that I have felt God laying on my heart to write about, because of the frequency that it occurs and the damaging effects that this issue can have. We have all experienced it too many times, witnessed the offense against others by people of all ages, all walks of life, and I am undoubtedly guilty of it at some point or another myself. The issue involves how we respond to another’s struggles;  whether we choose to be compassionate and loving, though we may not understand, or whether we choose to pass judgement on another person. We may actually be compassionate people 95% of the time, but for the times when a struggle is not understood, or when we feel that it is insignificant compared to our own experiences; these are the times when the offense tends to happen.

When my kids were younger I was attending a Bible study one evening and I asked for prayer for a struggle regarding potty training and an upcoming transition. There were also many other difficult things amplifying this struggle at that time, though I chose not to list them all. A woman with teenagers later intimated that my struggle was “nothing”, in her words. “It gets worse as they get older!” she says. Though I’m sure she didn’t intend this, I cannot describe how small and insignificant I felt at that moment.

Over the years I’ve noticed that this is a common occurrence among people. It might be the seasoned missionary wondering why the transition to a new culture is so difficult for the first-termer; after all, life was much harder back when they were new to the field. Or the woman who devotes an entire blog post to why people shouldn’t ask for prayer on facebook for seemingly trivial things, when there are real problems in the world. Or the experienced mother of three who inwardly laughs when she hears of the challenges of the mother with only one child.


I admit, sometimes in comparison to our own experiences, certain issues do seem a bit silly, but let us ask ourselves this: Are we to judge whether another person should or shouldn’t be feeling a certain way? Are we not all on different maturity levels, have different life experiences, and may have even deeper issues hidden beneath the surface? Does Jesus respond this way to us when we come to him with our troubles, however big or small? Does he say with a smirk, “Oh that’s nothing. I died on the cross!” No, thank goodness He doesn’t. In the Bible God tells us to “Cast all our anxiety on Him, because He cares for you (us)” (1 Peter 5:7). Luke 12:7 says, “Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”


Our struggles are real, and they are important to Him because we are important to Him. Let us choose empathy, as Jesus chooses to be empathetic towards us in our troubles. Instead of words and actions that might potentially hurt each other, let us carefully choose our words so as to encourage one another in love, thus reflecting Christ's love towards us.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29

Emergency Med-Evac Fly Along

On Saturday Matt and I were getting ready to go on an anniversary date to celebrate ten years of marriage, when Matt got a call requesting him to med-evac a patient from one of the interior villages. He wasn't technically on call that day but it turns out that he was the only pilot checked out to fly to this particular village. For the first time, I went along with him. It was great to finally see my husband in action, doing what he does on a daily basis.

The beautiful Borneo jungle



 

Hundreds of miles of uninhabited jungle. We also saw a waterfall on the way back. There are absolutely no roads to this village, so the only way out is by airplane. 

The valley of Long Rungan (the name of the village where the patient was waiting).



 This is the airstrip we landed on.

Men carrying the patient to the airplane.



This was the village pastor. He apparently had extremely high blood pressure during the night and started to hallucinate.



 The entire village surrounded the patient to pray.

Securing the patient into the airplane. He was taken to a hospital in a larger city so that he could receive the care that he needed.

Blake's 6th Birthday - Beware of Pirates!

Up until now we have never really done anything huge for our kid's birthdays. Of course we've always celebrated with them and often had little parties or invited friends and family to join in the celebration, but until now our life has been....well...a little crazy. We were in major transition for a couple of years, and we also figured that when they are that little....how much will they really remember anyway? This year was different. We decided that for Blake's 6th birthday, since we are finally settled in our house in Indonesia, we wanted to do a pirate theme and go all out. Besides, what better theme to go all out for than pirates! When I say "go all out" I don't mean extravagant money spending. I mean planning long in advance, making decorations (thank you Pinterest!), and mom and dad dressing up! We had a blast planning this party! Just an FYI: We will not be doing this for every birthday here on out :).

 The Covered Patio was our Pirate Ship 

 

 

 

 

Grandma and grandpa sent the sweet pirate costume that Blake is wearing. 

 



The boys LOVED the idea of drinking alligator blood 





Uncle Rich sent an awesome treasure map, gold doubloon, a real telescope and a compass!  

 

 Captain Matt explaining the rules. Whenever the word "Pirate" was said, all the boys were told to yell "Arrrrg!" 

 

 Get Captain Matt! 

 

 

 Cannon Ball Pop  

 

 

Blake's Pirate Cake

 

 



A Beautiful Plan

I'd like to you to meet Ibu Lina. I first met her the day she showed up at our house for an interview to be our house helper. An extremely meek, sweet-faced woman, she mentioned nothing about the fact that she had a serious, debilitating illness. I hired her that same day.

Not long after that, she began calling in sick for days at a time, saying something about her legs and arms being "weak." About two times a month this would occur and would last almost a week at times. I began asking more questions about her illness, confused as to what could be going on. She told me that she had been suffering from this illness for six years now, and that when the attacks came on, she couldn't move any part of her body. Sometimes she even had difficulty breathing. Visiting several doctors produced no answers. One day during one of her attacks, I visited her at home. Sure enough, she was completely paralyzed. Her family said she became "seperti orang mati (like a dead person)." After a few days the paralysis slowly resided and she regained her strength, almost as if nothing had happened.

"Lord," I prayed, "please show me what is wrong. Please allow me to help her."  After doing some research, I came up with a theory as to what the illness was. If I was correct, the solution was as simple as taking medicine. I asked her if the next time this happened, she would allow me to take her to the lab to get some blood work. In Indonesia, anyone can order labs without a doctor's prescription. She agreed.

Then without notice, she sent me a text saying that she had to stop work and didn't show that day. When I asked her why, she didn't respond.  I'm not a doctor, but I just couldn't shake the thought that she might have been delivered from a long-term illness, if she would only respond to my texts! Disappointed and frustrated, I started looking for a new helper. To my surprise a candidate showed up at our house for an interview, accompanied by Ibu Lina. Apparently a family member had persuaded her to accompany the interviewee to our house as an act of goodwill for leaving so abruptly. After the interview I talked with Ibu Lina about what had happened. She said that she had another attack, and apologized severely for quitting without notice. When I asked her if she would still like me to take her to the lab the next time she had an attack, she declined with tears in her eyes, saying she thought God had a beautiful plan and that she would just continue to pray. I think she was still ashamed and embarrassed about leaving us. "Ibu Lina," I responded,  "I believe that God does have a beautiful plan for you, but I also believe that sometimes He sends other people to help. I am willing to help if you will let me." After thinking it over later that day, she agreed.

The next time she had an attack she called me. Her husband carried her limp body on his back down the rickety ladder of their second story shack and loaded her into my car. We drove to the general hospital here in Tarakan. She was so ill, the hospital personnel whisked her away on a stretcher and were getting ready to admit her. It took quite a bit of convincing that I just wanted labs, but thankfully the doctor was a friendly young man that spoke some English, and he finally agreed. When the lab results came back, they confirmed what I had originally suspected. After consulting with an American doctor working in West Borneo, we decided to start her on a regimen of medicines.

I am overjoyed to say that Ibu Lina has not had another attack since! After six long years of terrible suffering and strain on her family as well, she is free! We are praising God with her.

She is under the care of a doctor in town now so that she can get her medicines for free through the government. It has been rather difficult to get the exact medicines and dosages correct, and she has still felt some weakness, even though she hasn't had an actual attack. Please pray for Ibu Lina, that the doctor would understand what is going on and be able to get her on the right meds and dosages. Being healthy again will transform so many aspects of her life.

Let it Go

Here is my most recent MAF Moms on a Mission blog post. To see the it on the MAF blog, click here:
http://www.mafblog.com/moms-on-a-mission/let-it-go



I know what is probably going through your mind if you read the title. Visions of ice princesses casting ice to the all too familiar Disney tune. Sorry if it’s in your head the rest of the day, but this post is about how Indonesia has taught me to let go of some things….to be more….flexible.

To this day that word gives me shivers. No one wants to be flexible, especially in the way I’m talking about. When you are exhausted and are continually thrown into stressful situations, flexibility does not come easily.

The first incident of me deciding to let something go was actually on our very first journey to Indonesia. We were on our way from Jakarta to one of the smaller cities and I had bought, in the Jakarta airport, what would be my last Starbucks coffee for quite some time. I was ready to enjoy every last drop (I’m from Seattle, what can you say). We had been travelling for countless hours with three small children that took turns crying on the trip over, and were beyond exhausted. As we were getting situated on the plane, the top of my coffee was removed and placed on the floor. The flight attendant handed us the baby seat belt that was to be strapped onto mine, but before I knew it the entire germ-infested (and probably vomit saturated) seat belt plopped right into my coffee. That was the last straw for me. Unable to cope with anything at that point, I put my head in my hands and let the tears flow. After a few minutes of feeling genuinely sorry for myself, I took a deep breath, looked down at my coffee, and said, “You know what? I live in Indonesia now,” and then proceeded to drink, and enjoy, the entire cup.

Yes I am a nurse and yes I have taken microbiology, but sometimes you just have to adapt, stay sane, and just plain let things go. Perspectives can change or a situation might cause you to do or think in a way that you wouldn’t have in your home country. There are still a million things that I have not learned to let go of, especially when other stresses are piling up and my ability to cope is wearing thin. Looking back to when we first came however, I can say that my perspectives on certain issues are not the same. Those armies of ants in the kitchen….just not the problem that they used to be.