Why I'm Choosing Empathy

For several months now there has been a certain issue that I have felt God laying on my heart to write about, because of the frequency that it occurs and the damaging effects that this issue can have. We have all experienced it too many times, witnessed the offense against others by people of all ages, all walks of life, and I am undoubtedly guilty of it at some point or another myself. The issue involves how we respond to another’s struggles;  whether we choose to be compassionate and loving, though we may not understand, or whether we choose to pass judgement on another person. We may actually be compassionate people 95% of the time, but for the times when a struggle is not understood, or when we feel that it is insignificant compared to our own experiences; these are the times when the offense tends to happen.

When my kids were younger I was attending a Bible study one evening and I asked for prayer for a struggle regarding potty training and an upcoming transition. There were also many other difficult things amplifying this struggle at that time, though I chose not to list them all. A woman with teenagers later intimated that my struggle was “nothing”, in her words. “It gets worse as they get older!” she says. Though I’m sure she didn’t intend this, I cannot describe how small and insignificant I felt at that moment.

Over the years I’ve noticed that this is a common occurrence among people. It might be the seasoned missionary wondering why the transition to a new culture is so difficult for the first-termer; after all, life was much harder back when they were new to the field. Or the woman who devotes an entire blog post to why people shouldn’t ask for prayer on facebook for seemingly trivial things, when there are real problems in the world. Or the experienced mother of three who inwardly laughs when she hears of the challenges of the mother with only one child.


I admit, sometimes in comparison to our own experiences, certain issues do seem a bit silly, but let us ask ourselves this: Are we to judge whether another person should or shouldn’t be feeling a certain way? Are we not all on different maturity levels, have different life experiences, and may have even deeper issues hidden beneath the surface? Does Jesus respond this way to us when we come to him with our troubles, however big or small? Does he say with a smirk, “Oh that’s nothing. I died on the cross!” No, thank goodness He doesn’t. In the Bible God tells us to “Cast all our anxiety on Him, because He cares for you (us)” (1 Peter 5:7). Luke 12:7 says, “Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”


Our struggles are real, and they are important to Him because we are important to Him. Let us choose empathy, as Jesus chooses to be empathetic towards us in our troubles. Instead of words and actions that might potentially hurt each other, let us carefully choose our words so as to encourage one another in love, thus reflecting Christ's love towards us.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29