Fear of failure. What a powerful motivation it is. It drives us to succeed, and keeps us awake at night. It goes hand in hand with fear of rejection..."what if my best isn't good enough? What if they don't want me?" These are just a few of the thoughts that were running through my head and really stressing me out in the weeks leading up to our evaluation down at MAF. But you want to know the cool thing? I learned (actually just had to be reminded and believe it) that my identity is not found in what I do, or in what direction my life takes, but is in who God says I am. I am a child of the Most High God, the Creator and Sustainer of life, the Father who loves me more than I could ever imagine or deserve! So really I never EVER have to fear rejection in life, because no matter what I do I could never make God love me less. That's so important and I hope you don't miss it. Coming to that realization allowed me to enter into the 2 week evaluation that would determine the course of our lives with an overwhelming and truly unnatural peace. The pressure was gone and I was able to relax and actually enjoy the process!
Would I have been disappointed if the evaluation hadn't gone well and MAF turned us away? You BET! But that disappointment, when put into perspective, would not have led to despair because I know that as long as my heart is in the right place, and I am serving Him, I am right smack in the center of His will. Whether that's in aviation or not. Of course, all of that is easier said than done, I'm only human and I love flying! The key is to remember who God is (that never changes), who I am in God's eyes (also never changes), and to draw daily strength and peace from that, not from the circumstances and curve balls of life.
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