Coffee and Culture

I (Matt) like to people watch, and there's something that I find especially fascinating about watching people from another culture interact.

French class was always one that I enjoyed, and though I can hardly string a sentence together now, at one time I was pretty good at it. It wasn't that I was especially good at verb conjugation, or remembering the tenses, it was that I really worked hard at contorting my mouth and puckering my lips to get that accent just right. It wasn't easy! But for me it wasn't just about learning a language, it was about being able to fit into a culture.

Me "fitting in" in Paris :)

All of my hard work at the French language culminated in the ultimate test, which I both passed with flying colors, and failed miserably! The setting was a small cafe on a cold winter day in Paris. Sitting there with a friend of mine who had grown up in Paris, I felt especially confident about fitting in, and I was ready to try my French! When the waiter came to our table I chatted with him (in French) about the weather, about his nice cafe, and then ordered a toasted ham sandwich with fries. "What would you like to drink?" he asked me. Since it was such a cold day, and my friend and I had been walking around Paris seeing the sights, nothing sounded better than a tall mug of hot coffee. "I'll have a coffee." The blank stare I got from the waiter keyed me in right away that something wasn't right about that, but I didn't know what! My friend looked at me with a smirk. "Are you sure you don't want something else?" The color coming to my cheeks was part indignation at being second-guessed about my drink choice, and part embarrasment that I might have just made a cultural boo-boo. "Um, no, I'd like a coffee." The waiter looked at me and finally said, "Oh, you're American!" :) My disguise was busted! He then went on to say that I had him fooled until I ordered a coffee with my meal. Turns out that in France coffee is a post-meal beverage, is much stronger, and comes in a small shot glass. We all had a good laugh about my unintentional cultural mis-step.

I remember that experience because of my delight in being able to blend into the culture for a while, but also for the mild embarassment of being "outed" as an American!

There is such a richness to culture that can only be fully appreciated when we approach it with an open mind, and try our best not to project our values onto theirs, but to fit in. As we prepare to move our family to Indonesia I know we'll never be able to fully blend in simply because of our blonde hair and blue eyes, but I look forward to learning about the way they see the world. And I'm excited that our kids will grow up with not only a rich worldview, but a humble appreciation for the way other people do things. And I'm sure we'll have LOTS of new and embarrasing stories on this adventure as we learn a new language and culture!